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alika207
Ha`aha`a
USA
1260 Posts |
 Posted - 05/16/2010 : 4:23:11 PM
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Aloha no,
Just a quick one to let everybody know that I'm really wanting to continue with this story I started working on a few years ago and then put aside because I thought I would never finish it. But now I really want to. I'm still not even done with the first chapter and don't even have a title yet; I've kind of just sketched out the opening. I need some background info on the subject before I go too far and would love to have suggestions or research from any of you. Basically it's a historical fiction novel about the bombing of Pearl Harbor during World War II, but the main characters are Hawaiian instead of American or Japanese, which is what's making it hard for me to do my research. If you'd like to read what I have done so far even though it isn't much, please send me an e-mail or reply to this. I also don't mind posting it into the body of a post if you'd rather have me do that. Mahalo nui loa in advance.
'Alika
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He kehau ho'oma'ema'e ke aloha.
'Alika / Polinahe |
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iokua29
Aloha
1 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2010 : 09:06:00 AM
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| 'Alika - Sounds interesting. Are you looking for research on actual Hawaiians who were involved in the bombing/war, or is your fictionalization putting them in as US (and/or Japanese?) soldiers? I'd be happy to read & provide feedback if you'd like... You can also email to my username @ gmail.com |
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alika207
Ha`aha`a
USA
1260 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2010 : 06:47:37 AM
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Here's what I've written so far:
Chapter 1
It was a Saturday morning, and Malie sat on the sand of Waikiki watching the waves roll by. Sure, it was a very warm, tranquil day, but somehow the feeling of nervousness inside her made it feel colder. How she wished there was no such thing as war.
She had wondered where all of her ‘ohana had gone -- all of them except her older brother Kaipo, whom she knew was fighting in the army, and baby Nani, who was taking a nap at home. Malie’s parents had dropped her seven-year-old sister and her off at the beach, but now they were nowhere to be found. Since they had arrived, however, she could see that Lokelani was busy building sandcastles and playing in the water. For a while, that was how she prevented herself from being bored. Malie decided not to go in the water but to come close enough for Lokelani to hear her. She wasn’t in the mood for getting her bathing suit wet. Maybe later, she thought.
“Are you doing okay?” she asked. “I’ll make a sandcastle with you if you want.” Although she felt she was a little too old for such things, she was suddenly overcome with boredom and believed that anything besides just sitting on the sand would please her.
Just then, she noticed someone coming in her direction. It looked like someone she knew.
“Never mind, I’ll be back later,” she said with a little wave. “Let me see who this is.”
“Long time no see, Malie,” said the voice of her best friend. She had been out of school feeling sick for the past week, but she looked a hundred percent better today.
“Aloha!” Malie beamed and gave Kawehi a huge hug. “Want to body surf?”
“No thanks,” Kawehi answered shaking her head. “I’m waiting for my parents to come here.”
“Me too,” Malie said as the two of them walked to a large rock and sat down. Lokelani still seemed to be entertaining herself as always.
The two friends looked up at the clear, blue sky. Above them, they could see the hula that the birds seemed to be doing over the trees and hear the beautiful, melodious sounds of their calls. It made them feel like the war didn’t exist.
“It’s sad to think that my brother is out there fighting,” Malie commented, and then the happiness in Kawehi’s face turned to fear. Malie started to shake with nervousness also. To comfort herself, she started looking back on the good times she had with her family. All the photographs that her parents had taken when she was a young child were hanging in frames on the walls of their household. On the inside of the front door was her most favorite picture of all: her, Kaipo, Lokelani, and their parents in a boat. She tried as hard as she could to remember that time, but somehow, she couldn’t.
A few minutes later, Kawehi stared at her saying, “Are you asleep? … You’re so quiet! … Is something wrong? …” and other similar expressions.
“I just wish this war hadn’t even started,” she answered. “That’s all.”
They both continued sitting there, bodies stiff, lips sealed, and faces pale, for what seemed like twenty years. Just when they thought no one would show up to make their lives better, they heard a man strumming an ‘ukulele and singing the famous “Hawai’i Aloha,” a song of love for Hawai’i.
“E hau’oli e na ‘opio o Hawaii nei. [Happy youths of Hawai’i.]
Oli e, oli e. [Rejoice, rejoice.]”
The two girls stood up, took each other’s hands, started swaying with the music, and joined in:
“Mai na aheahe makani e pa mai nei, [From the gentle winds that blow here,]
Mau ke aloha no Hawaii. [Love always for Hawai’i.]”
Malie smiled. Her father had arrived at last! She and Kawehi lifted their hands up at the end of the song and then raced toward him to embrace him.
“Hemoleleikamalie! Kawehionalani!” he said smiling, as these were the girls’ full-length Hawaiian names, and he believed they should be referred to as such. “It’s great to see you both!” Then he looked at Kawehi and asked, “Why don’t you come home with us? We’re having plate lunches.”
“’Ae!” Kawehi responded in her native Hawaiian. “My parents said that if you came before they did, I could go home with you.”
They called Lokelani to join them, and the foursome left the sandy beach behind. Malie’s house was about five minutes away, so down the street they strolled.
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He kehau ho'oma'ema'e ke aloha.
'Alika / Polinahe |
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Help Needed for a Story I'm Writing
